It's all just makebelieve

goodbye...

2005-07-13T10:38:00.000-05:00

you have been a good blog. but now i have an lj. its at :www.livejournal.com/users/angelds525

i saw the sign

2005-07-13T02:31:00.000-05:00

oh yay. today was my birthday. a good one. we played wink, the best game ever. i am all rugburned and feel happy.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

2005-07-11T11:16:00.000-05:00

i just called beloit. they have a meeting planned for TOMORROW to discuss things. I HATE YOU. WHY DO YOU LIE TO ME????

theres a fine, fine line

2005-07-11T00:00:00.000-05:00

i think i killed my computer. seriously. its all out of whack. eeep.in better news, i went to a party at hugh jehorsecock's, and virtually our entire class was there! it made me nostalgic for uni, and i was really happy to see them all, but it also reminded me of some things i did not like so much.tomorrow is the day i call beloit. wish me luck.

its not a motorcycle baby its a chopper

2005-07-09T00:57:00.000-05:00

today me and alison went to old navy and got corduroy flip flops, and then to barnes and noble where we got eachother graduation presents. it was fun. also at old navy we got bouncy balls out of a big bublegum-type vending machine.i talked to colette on AIM today, and it made me really happy, but then i accidentally left and never came back, and felt bad. oops.then kathleen and rose and annie

S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!

2005-07-08T00:29:00.000-05:00

icky driving story:so im driving down university. its dark out and im maybe speeding a tinsy bit. all of the sudden i see this little old man, dressed in really dark clothes so i can hardly see him, walking very slowly across the street right in front of me. i had to step on the breaks so as not to hit him. i was really happy that i didnt hit him, but then he turns around and gives me the finger

wisest is she who knows she does not know

2005-07-06T20:07:00.000-05:00

guess who still hasnt heard from beloit? grrr, i hate them(actually: i dont)on a brighter note- me and alison were at borders today, and i saw the section of books in spanish, and they had a hundred years of solitude in spanish, and it reinforced my desire to become fluent. if i dont go to beloit next year, im at least going to take a parkland spanish class. we got their fall course listings in

thats right! phlogiston, bitches!

2005-07-06T01:54:00.000-05:00

man, ive been reading another book, sophies world, and it is just, i dont even know how to describe it, AWESOME. theres this girl, sophie, and shes getting philosophy lessons from this mysterious guy, so theres just all these lessons about philosophy in it, but then theres also this mystery going on, and theres an 'alice in wonderland'-type vibe, and its so weird. but so interesting. i read all

o thou stranger woman...

2005-07-02T16:09:00.000-05:00

man, so i went to see mad hot ballroom with hannah, and we saw this trailer for this documentary about penguins, and at first i was like "this looks stupid, why would i want to watch a two hour movie about penguins", but the more and more i see ads for this movie, the more i want to see it, because the baby penguins are just so cute. seriously. i revert to baby-talk everytime i see a picture of

turns out lonely people are all the same

2005-07-01T22:19:00.000-05:00

yesterday i spent almost all day watching a marathon of americas next top model, but had to turn it off right before the finale, which was sad. but then today i turned on the tv and it was americas next top model again, at almost the exact spot where i had turned it off yesterday. i really like that show, its such a guilty pleasure for me. everytime dad sees me watching it he makes some sarcastic

people is sometimes kind

2005-06-28T12:58:00.000-05:00

you know what i just realized that reaffirmed my college choice? if i had chosen bard, i would have had to go out there at the BEGINING of august. that would have sucked.im really starting to look forward to doing things like choosing classes, and buying stuff for my dorm room, and meeting my roommate and having a facebook, so i really hope they let me go next year. i sent off my FYI(thats what

it seems the time of parenthood is upon us

2005-06-27T12:35:00.000-05:00

dad asked me this morning what i was going to "do" with my summer. sigh. i feel so useless.

youre what happens when two substances collide

2005-06-26T15:27:00.000-05:00

speaking of movies:yesterday i saw a trailer for rent and now im really excited and nervous about it. i want to see it, especially because it has most of the original cast in it, but what if its bad?then, later, i watched camp on tv. i know certain people will hate me for this, but it made me cry. the part where the girl gets her mouth un-wired shut and then sings that beautiful song. i agree

you very cute! recieve my heart please

2005-06-25T22:23:00.000-05:00

mia has caught some yarn from my room and is dragging it around looking super-cute.i went to sara sligars party today and it was fun, but my scrapbook page felt outclassed by everyone eles pretty ones, and then i sat at a table with abunch of juniors(seniors) and amelia, and they all talked about uni and what they were taking next year and it felt really weird. i dunno.but i went to see the

its a nervous tic motion of the head to the left

2005-06-22T23:13:00.000-05:00

i love that song. but not when i have it stuck in my head for hours.yesterday me and alison and annie went to see mr and mrs smith, which was quite good, but i started singing that the second we got out of the theater and couldnt stop for ages. but at least its a good song.today i had to pick eli and his friends up at parkland and then drive them home, and i swear it was the most hellish

some of my friends sell records, some of my friends sell drugs

2005-06-18T16:59:00.000-05:00

last night i had this really huge epic dream, and i swore i was going to remember it when i woke up, but all i have now is a vague recollection and some images. it involved angelina jolie and an alien baby and some important futuristic war that i was involved in. i wish i could remember the plot- there was a lot of plot and it was cool. i am mourning the loss of my dream.also, i finally got an

note: books are carefully folded forests

2005-06-17T23:44:00.000-05:00

man, i just got back from zack mcgintys bar mitzvah. me and alison were babysitting. it was weird. first we had no one to babysit, so we just sat around in this room way off far away from the service. then we finally got some kids and got into playing this game where they put us in jail and we escaped and hid from them. and it was hard because then we didnt have a good time keeping an eye on them

yes, wind is the moons imagination wandering

2005-06-17T01:49:00.000-05:00

ah. i just got back from maxys birthday party. we went to meadowbrooke and ate food. me and hannah went on a really long quest beforehand to get him presents. then we went to the party and were late. we played sardines and saw tom and kimmy and anita there which was fun. then we went to mayas house.it was pretty cool. yup. now im back. but i have good plans for tommorrow, and some bad plans which

she wants a pina colada in a pint glass

2005-06-14T01:17:00.000-05:00

i wish i knew if i was going to college next year... it would make thinking about it so much easier.today i ran all the errands i needed to, which was a relief. i still havent gotten paid( plus my mom is getting really mad at me for lack of job), but i returned my bad report cards and a huge stack of books to the library(where i saw aggie).i went on a mission to get this book after a i read an

ive reached up so many times to find my hands full of emptiness

2005-06-13T01:19:00.000-05:00

my week with the house to myself is over... it was nice. i didnt really take as full of advantage of it as i could have, but it was still fun.im having all of these dilemmas, and theyre very complicated, and i wish i could explain them to someone, but they all have these long backstories and i cant bring them up so im just confused and in positions i dont like. i hate this feeling. but some

and i dont know why its so hard to consider this

2005-06-07T14:01:00.000-05:00

the fact that ive graduated keeps hitting me in flashes. sometimes i dont feel like anything has changed at all, and then all of the sudden i realize that im no longer a high school student. i watched freaks and geeks with batia yesterday and realized that it no longer applied to me anymore. it was very strange.having the house to myself is going pretty good. i keep on forgeting some of my

gaiety, song-and-dance, here we are and there we are?

2005-06-05T03:39:00.000-05:00

dudes, we're graduates.this feels weird.really.i cried when we switched our tassles. the speeches were good, especially mr raybs. our uni-luminators are awesome. my family took billions of pictures. we went to dinner. my aunt and cousin gave me a tea set:) then we went to parties. embarrasing things were revaeled at kinzies. now im sitting at home with a lovely yearbook. maybe ill post more

last time i saw you, we'd just split in two

2005-06-04T09:52:00.000-05:00

damn. i was unable to sleep; thats why im up at this ridiculous hour. im still looking forward to graduation, but it still seems a long way off, even though its today. im brainstroming about how to decorate my cap, but i only have one idea so far. maybe ill just do that one. im looking forward to graduation parties and such. and also getting my lovely signed yearbook back today before we graduate

we are marching in the light of god

2005-06-03T16:24:00.000-05:00

i just posted my anthro project online so im all done with uni work FOREVER!! YAAAAAAAAY! and im starting to look forward to graduation. itll be pretty cool. everyone come.also i cant come to graduation parties tonight. and i might go to beloit next year after all.

desperado, why wont you come to your senses

2005-06-01T16:19:00.000-05:00

yesterday was six flags. the school was mysteriously decorated (now how could that have happened!?!) six flags was fun, but REALLY hot and everything was so expensive so i was dehydrated a lot. i went on a rollercoaster(my first), and it was terrifying. never again. but other than that, it was fun. and we played the song game on the bus and that was awesome.mississippi is not looking so good,

what does it mean to be real?

2005-05-29T19:34:00.000-05:00

i just got back from joan and kens wedding. i cried. ive been quite weepy lately, i think ive cried every day this week. hmmm, now why on earth could that be?im looking forward to next week, cause all this good stuff is gonna happen, even though we're graduating at the end of it and thats sad.but first i have to finish our math poster because stupid hugh didnt. grr.i also started rereading harry

no predicting what could happen in a lifetime

2005-05-27T20:21:00.000-05:00

its over. i cried, as expected. actually, i cried several times. after orchestra, out of frustration with mr murphey, but also because i was sad. and then after school. it was weird, cause half of our class was celebrating, and half was crying. i just need to keep reminding myself that we have another week. a week of six flags and deutsch 4 fete and senior supper and handprints and parties and

let our hearts be bound as one

2005-05-26T22:02:00.000-05:00

im considerably cheered up. im still sad about graduating, but im not as upset about other things. i think it was the people that did it. having nice talks with wonderful people always makes me happy, especially when theyre the right people in the right place. do you know what im talking about?also: have you noticed that certain people have certain smells? some people dont have smells at all, but

i must confess that my lonlieness is killing me now

2005-05-26T18:03:00.000-05:00

damn. do you ever feel something, and even though you recognize the stupidness and futility of your emotions, you cant do anything about it? and then you just get angry with yourself? ive been in a bad mood lately, in ways that i really dont want to be. it sucks, after so much happiness. im not looking forward to this weekend, because i know i will feel even shittier then and man do i hate this

anything you want, you got it

2005-05-25T21:46:00.000-05:00

my room smells bad. i dont know why.i went to ayeshas after school today to study and it wasnt the best idea ever.me and mr rayb had a 'last independent study' party at hot wok. then we got yearbooks. its exciting because we're the seniors this year so we get half the yearbook dedicated to us. im happy with my prediction, but theres an insanely ugly pictue of me in it :( i cant wait to get it

only on the condition that you call me esteban

2005-05-24T17:09:00.000-05:00

school is the most useless thing ever. i didnt understand senioritis before-- now i do. we didnt do anything in english or pe or world or orchestra(man, do i hate mr murphey). my free period was fun. then we didnt do anything in anthro or math or seminar. actually, in math we went on a fun recoinaissance mission, but it was pretty useless other than that. and i felt especially useless all day

hey rose your heart grows with every opening

2005-05-23T16:19:00.000-05:00

today was nice untill the end. me and hannah wrote a letter to dear abby (if you see 'upset in illinois', or something to that effect, thats us), and i had a really nice talk with ayesha dearest about graduating and college, that was comforting. do you guys realize--4 days?? thats not enough. im still in denial about how few days that is.anyway, i got a good grade on my seminar paper, which made

im singing! and youre my dad! and i love you!

2005-05-22T20:35:00.000-05:00

remeber how i used to not know what i wanted to major in in college? no longer. philosophy. defenitly. i will be the happiest person in the world. even though billy vaughn told me that i wouldnt like philosophy classes at college. i dont believe him. i will love it and be HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.the plan for this summer: have sleepovers and sing. and have a six feet under party on the 6th, because my

the world will sing when i am king

2005-05-22T17:59:00.000-05:00

yay, today was nice. i went to my horn lesson, which might have been my last one ever, which is sad. but i wore my new sunglasses, and felt snazzy. then i watched i <3 huckabees, which reminded me of how much i want to be a philosopher. seriously. dont be suprised when i end up with a degree in philosophy in 5 years.then we went to the grease gala, which was cool. dont you hate akward situations,

wives mothers daughters

2005-05-22T03:55:00.000-05:00

im lying on my bed with my hair down, and DAMN, its long!i spent almost all of today watching tv, and i was sad, like, 'oh no, im gonna spend a wonderful sunday just sitting around watching tv'. but then tonight i went over to hannahs and hung out with hannah and kinzie and max and maya, who it turns out is really cool, and we sang beautiful music and played the song game, and then i watched 'in

we can dance if we want to

2005-05-19T23:42:00.000-05:00

im all done with my paper. ALL DONE!! its beautiful and perfect, even though its only 26 pages, and im happy and i hpe he doesnt hate it because that would make me feel bad. DONE DONE DONE DONE DONEi also sent lisa my graduation words. theyre boring but oh well.

my love cant save you, only my new powers can!

2005-05-19T16:17:00.000-05:00

yay, i went to star wars. it was not the best movie ever-- the story line was good, but the acting and writing were AWFUL. but it wasnt as bad as the first two. anyway, i had fun. the theater was packed, and i sat behind this really weird guy who would say things like 'obi wan kenobi' randomly under his breath during the movie. it was a goo class boning experience.then me and alison and hannah

uncle richard meet james earl jones

2005-05-18T21:43:00.000-05:00

man, the little page-count thing at the bottom of my screen is lying to me! it said i had 24 pages, and i was all excited, so i scrolled down to look, and it was actually shorter than before! i still have 23! how will i ever make this long enough??

when the daylights gone and your on your own

2005-05-18T20:36:00.000-05:00

i just sent an email to this really cool poet, beau sia. id post a poem of his, but i have to work on my seminar paper before going to see star wars(!!), so maybe later. anyway, hes cool, and i hope he replys and doesnt think im weird for sending him a random email.

and we will ride on the wheels of a dream

2005-05-17T22:49:00.000-05:00

i thought about ragtime today and remebered how wonderfull it was, and now i really want a soundtrack to listen to(kinzie, if you burned it for me i would love you forever and ever)my paper is almost 23 pages long, and im trying to get it to 30 by tonight so i can print it out and take it to school to edit. damn, stupid deadlines.

poor old johnny ray

2005-05-17T20:36:00.000-05:00

i just took a nice nap, and now im drinking a pepsi and ready to get started on my paper.i went to the girls soccer game, and they lost, 5-0, which was sad. but it was fun to see my friends play. i saw ayesha a lot, because her position was situated over by where we were sitting, i think, but other than that, i had a really hard time following who was who. but i saw other people i know on the

take this while you can, kiss me

2005-05-16T23:14:00.000-05:00

i finished my english presentation, and i think its pretty good other than the fact that its too long and i say 'um' every other word. also, i found the version of my paper that i turned in, and it has all that stuff that i thought i had forgotten to include.now i need to work on seminar. i hate all you people that are done with work (though i am NOT regreting taking seminar, thank you very much.

when i first met you i said, get away you smell like fish heads

2005-05-16T21:06:00.000-05:00

im writing my english presentation, which sucks because i really should be writing my seminar paper. but im going through my english paper to suck information out, and im realizing how bad it is. like, i forgot to include a bibliography. and i only ever sighted information from one critic. im going to get a horrible grade and then beloit will reject me.today after school i went to my horn lesson

folks roamed the earth like big rolling kegs; they had two sets of arms, they had two sets of legs

2005-05-15T15:53:00.000-05:00

this song makes me really want to go read symposium.im wishing that i had worked on my paper yesterday instead of watching a billion hours of 'americas next top model', because im just now remembering how hard it is to write this paper. its hard.yesterday was my last uni show ever, and it went pretty well. then we went to the cast party, which was fun because we wrestled and played wink and leg

the children of the earth

2005-05-15T14:33:00.000-05:00

mine is on cordelias lj. no one ever seems to want to fill these out on blogs, but go for it! itll be fun!ABOUT YOU1. Name:2. Date of birth:3. Place of residence:4. What makes you happy:5. What are you listening to now/last listened to:6. Do you read my journal:7. If you do, what are the bits that stand out as particularily good or bad:8. Interesting fact about yourself:9. Are you in love at the

the only boy who you could ever reach me

2005-05-13T22:34:00.000-05:00

firt big show is over, and it went well.but i feel awful. we have 9 or so days left at school, and i really cant believe this. ive been at uni for so long, that it hasnt really hit me what graduating means, you know? like, i cant picture what its like to not go to uni... this may sound really stupid, but its true. i mean, ill miss my friends most of all, but ill also just miss our class. i really

trying to shove ourselves back together

2005-05-12T22:24:00.000-05:00

i sent this email to bob coverdill about habitat this summer, but i have the sneaking suspicion that it did not reach him. what will i do? then again, if i dont go, ill probably get the house to myself for several days after graduation. but also: mississippi! with coll people! i feel worried and unplanned. i need to get better organized. im gonna forget something and then never graduate or go to

come on eileen

2005-05-11T23:26:00.000-05:00

i just discovered craigslist (courtesy of girlyman), and i discovered this on the best of page, thought i would share:That was akward, but commendableAn "A" for effort goes to the gentleman in the blue pin-stripe, who tried to cover-up his gasket-blowing fart, that he clearly lost control of and knew he had nano-seconds to counter, by coughing real loud as he did so in a valiant, albeit futile,

and, if you put us in a blender, youd probably end up with a girly man

2005-05-11T22:09:00.000-05:00

yay! im listening to my new cd :) and im very happy. happy happy happy. my new favorite band is girlyman. hey rose is the most beautiful song ive ever heard.in math today we listened to my CD and sat around doing nothing and singing, which was fun, but i was really afraid suzuki was seceretly furious and we wont find out untill we get our report cards and weve all flunked math.i made several

ill teach you anything. just dont eat me.

2005-05-10T22:45:00.000-05:00

ive gotten to the point where ive started to look forward to being at school more than at home. at school im with my friends, at home im useless and bored. its a bad situation. untill the weekend! i cant believe its only tuesday...i have so long to wait.also, were graduating remarkably soon, and i dont know what my summer or next year is going to look like at all.today in world we were watching a

ok now fellas

2005-05-09T23:00:00.000-05:00

at what point in silence of the lambs does the bad guy talk about lotion and baskets? ive been hearing this really cool song on the raido, and it has a line that goes 'it puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again', and i keep on hearing that this is a silence of the lambs refernce, but ive seen that movie (and read the book), and i have no idea what that refers to.also: i almost

why cant i find a woman like that?

2005-05-09T22:11:00.000-05:00

today i was forced to tell people things, and accidentally told mr sutton something i shouldnt have, and lied, and over all said things i regret. but eh, that often happens to me.i also have all this stuff i need to do to, you know, ensure my summer, and for some reason i just cant bring myself to do it. maybe its because im in denial about us graduating and me having to make summer plans, but at

can you stop with the domination? im just trying to rest...

2005-05-08T18:39:00.000-05:00

heehee.i went to big show and now im back, and some of them are pretty funny.kinzie hit me.my, oh, two or three hours of sleep are starting to catch up with me. i dont feel tired really, i just feel a little out of sync.i was watching vh1 today, and they say that next week theyre going to have another marathon of americas next top model, so i will definitely be watching. in fact, ill probably

we're goin to the chapel and we're gonna get maa-aa-aarried

2005-05-08T13:22:00.000-05:00

prom. yay. lets recap the evening:we all went to kinzies house, and she did my hair and makeup, and then we took pictures, and then we went to milos. it was yummy. we showed up at prom fashionably late, and it was cool. they played a mix of good(jessies girl) and bad(other sutff) music, but it was really enjoyable. and they played thriller, and i discovered that i do not remember the dance at all

i was cured all right...

2005-05-05T18:49:00.000-05:00

im better! yay! well, almost better. im still staying hydrated, and eating lots of oranges for the vitamin c, but im definatly going to be better by saturday! possibly even tomorrow! woohoo! :) this cold has gone on long enough.speaking of tomorrow, im happy because its a half day, which means that:a)i don't have to sit through 8 hours of useless class.b) i can do fun things for the rest of the

succoutash my balzac, you dipshiitake

2005-05-04T18:04:00.000-05:00

im sick. again. i desperatly need to get better again by this saturday(prom), though preferably by friday, because that is the gaol i set for myself. please get better, me! i got home and drank two glasses of orange juice, because aparently that will make me get better. also, ive been sleeping a lot. this is what i did yeasterday after school: read my book; fall asleep; wake up to eat dinner;

cause its a thriller, thriller night

2005-05-01T22:50:00.000-05:00

i went to be inducted into thesbians, which was pretty cool. and i went to the thriller video shoot for the senior video. im a bad dancer. i knew that before, but its been confirmed. im always there in the back row, grining like mad and messing up all the steps. but oh well.now i have almost nine pages but have become distracted by 'extremely loud and incredibly close', the book that my dad just

some day ill fly away

2005-05-01T13:17:00.000-05:00

five pages! i have five pages!by which i mean, i have two sentences on the fifth page.but still- half way done! maybe i should set a goal for myself- seven pages by 3:00? then i could enjoy the wedding shower a little bit...at least i know i can defenitly write ten pages- ive done it before! thats kind of reassuring.back to work.

im a cat on a hot tin roof

2005-04-30T21:25:00.000-05:00

im working, i swear i am( a whole 2 sentences!) but i just wanted to share with you the opening sentence on tennessee williams' memoir:"to begin this "thing" on a socially impressive note, let me tell you that one recent fall, before the leaves had fallen, i happened to be weekending at one of the last great country houses in engliand, an estate so close to stonhenge that one of the stones was

whats your price for flight

2005-04-30T20:39:00.000-05:00

i really should be working on my english paper, but im too busy daydreaming about beloit and my prom dress and other exciting things to get anything done. sigh. guess whos gonna be up laaaate tomorrow writing this?i got up really early this morning, because i couldnt sleep, so today has seemed really long, which makes it even sadder that i havent done anything. i painted tiles with ayesha. but

i disappear

2005-04-30T12:28:00.000-05:00

i just sent in my deposit to beloit and i have a prom dress and i am a very HAPPY PERSON!

its time for us as a people to start making some changes

2005-04-28T21:10:00.000-05:00

i am so ineffective. i have been sitting here starring at my computer for two hours and have nothing of my english paper written. i had decided, and i mean really decided, where i was going to college, and i was so proud of myself, and then a thought occured to me and i was unsure again. i thought that i really knew that time!so now im listening to the habitat cd and staring at the computer and

yo, since the diabolical one couldnt be with us tonight

2005-04-28T18:02:00.000-05:00

eee, i love that song so muchi think tomorrow after school i may go prom dress shopping again and see if i can try on that green dress at duckys. i was relieved to find out that it isnt the dress max thought was ugly, and then when we drove past duckys, i saw the dress he was talking about. it is indeed pretty ugly.i found out today that ellie watches 'greys anatomy', too, which made me happy. we

smite him!

2005-04-27T20:45:00.000-05:00

today after school me and alison went prom shopping with little success. first we went to M2 which was really intimidating. the dresses were really expensive and for the most part not the kind i like, so we left really fast. then we went to le shoppe, and i saw this sort of nice dress in the window, but it reminded me a lot of a wedding dress- in fact, it might have been a wedding dress. anyway,

i know its late in the game...

2005-04-27T18:38:00.000-05:00

here are my answers to cordelia's questions. if you would like for me to ask you questions, post a comment and ask me to, although its a little more unwieldy with a blog.1. if you could hang out with one musician for a day, who would it be, and what would you guys do?um, this is hard, but im gonna say bob marley. he'd show me around jamaica, because ive always wanted to go, but hate being a

my feelings, my true feelings, havent changed

2005-04-25T22:08:00.000-05:00

music to add to my ipod, asap:the big chill soundtrackthat cranberries songthe DP cdthe QT collectionyoshimi battles the pink robotshey yai believe in a thing called love(thats what tha song's called, right?)mos def (i have never heard him, but i like him as an actor, and i like his name, and i hear his music is quite good as well)more beatleswhat a difference a day makesthats all i can think of

dude, come quick- there's pictures!

2005-04-25T18:19:00.000-05:00

oh, i am so happy! if it werent for my impending graduation, i would be, well, more happy. but im quite happy as is. im singing along to songs that i have no voice to sing with.im looking forward to prom, and we have dinner plans, yay, and i have a prospective dress, which is good, and its CHEAP( batia, if i got a cheap dress, maybe i could buy one of those beautiful bags at rebeccas that we saw-

save the world! now!

2005-04-22T09:51:00.000-05:00

my fortune cookie says "you wont be bored for long! new adventures are on their way [in bed]"yesterday me and hannah and alison and max went to 'rainbow gardens' after school for lunch, and then to pages to read the sex books. it was fun.i went to see 'the saddest music in the world' at ebertfest, and 'after dark my sweet', and today im going to see more! i really like ebertfest. but there was

the future's so bright...

2005-04-20T17:31:00.000-05:00

yay. today isat outside with hannah during 4th and it was so beautiful and wram, and i relaly want it to be like that tomorrow, because i plan on spending all of tomorrow outside. at least, the time where im not at ebertfest.im excited about ebertfest starting today! yayayay.i have homework to do tonight, but seeing as i left it at school, im not gonna worry about it. in want my dad to finish '

if i were the ing of the world, tell you what id do...

2005-04-19T21:38:00.000-05:00

damn. i really, really need to be working on my english paper, but i just cant bring myself to do it. i went to yahoo to try and retrieve what i wrote already (tho i suspect it isnt there) and got distracted by an article about the new pope. what will i ever do? i also spent a really long time looking at prom dresses. and i have to read the wife of bath's prolouge, too. im terrible.my family was

i wont harm you with words from my mouth

2005-04-19T17:32:00.000-05:00

im listening to the habitat cd and trying to figure out what to do with myself. i want to wrtie poetry or draw or do something creative, and i want to be down in mississippi, and i want to be read. specifically 'midnight in the garden of good and evil', but mostly i just want to read. i wish i could turn into the person i want to be immediatly, without going through all of that growing stuff.

ah, i see you have a little swimming mouse. where is the willage?

2005-04-18T22:43:00.000-05:00

damn. i just wasted a bunch of time trying (and failing) to print out a picture and i havent done any homework and my email doesnt work. did anyone get this message that i sent to the whole school?in better news, beloit was nice and i went to see david sedaris tonight. he was great and read a bunch of stuff id never heard before. but then my mom wouldnt let us stay for the book signing. but i saw

oh, take another little piece of my heart now baby

2005-04-17T22:18:00.000-05:00

im in beloit and tomorrow im gonna go visit lots of classes. i brought my computer and all this other stuff because i thought i would do work, but ,ha, im not. me and mom watched greys anatomy and it was funny and sad. i dont know why i enjoy hospital shows so much, because i hate hospitals and medicine and anything that has to do with doctors, so they freak me out, but i unfortunatly always get

all you need is love

2005-04-16T23:35:00.000-05:00

sigh. i hate it when i do everything i can and things still dont work out. its frusterating. i had to babysit my brother, so i just spent all night watching queer as folk. it was lonely.tomorrow im off to beloit to try and make a final choice and im worried about it.

i thought there was a virtue in always being cool

2005-04-16T18:00:00.000-05:00

today i went prom dress shoppping with batia. sadly, no dresses were found.i also read my great-great-grandfathers' autobiography, which was insanely cool. its been sitting around on my floor for years, but i finally read it today.my family is so wonderful. he studied at yeshiva and spoke five languages(his autobiography was written in yiddish) and lived in argentina for a while. he was also a

those cats are fast as lightning

2005-04-15T16:44:00.000-05:00

i seem to have overcommited myself next week. damn, i dont know what to do. i need to make this weekend good. today me and max talked with mr sutton about going to mississippi. im really excited. i cant believe that i had doubts about whether i wanted to do this, because i really want to be there right now. and im glad im not going to college next year. im sad that we wont be there all year,

so for you this is just a good time but for me this is what i call life

2005-04-14T22:23:00.000-05:00

yay! i get to stage manage big show! :) ive been working on my last words for the last several hours and i just got an email saying they werent actually due untill monday... which is good because i didnt really want to turn in what i had, but i could have been doing my homework.i also need to bake cookies for fiesta friday.so i have a college visit(beloit) set up for monday, and when i come back

i must fill out my papplication...im a popeful

2005-04-13T23:05:00.000-05:00

heehee.i just watched the daily show.i also had a long(ish) talk with my father dearest about college. i still dont know where to go, though soon(possibly monday) im gonna visit beloit again and go to a class.on the beloit message board someone replied to my 'describe yourself' post. and also the two other girls who are deciding between beloit and bard responded to me and said i could email them.

i want your love, dont want to borrow

2005-04-13T16:58:00.000-05:00

i have a date to prom, oh yes indeed i do. that and nina simone and the pretty sun are putting me in a good mood.day of silence was good. frusterating a little, but that didnt really stop anything( i totally had my sign language ready, btw). in anthro we watched a really sad movie about little old jewish people.but back to happy stuff.im babysitting my little bro tonight. itll be cool. hes doing

everybody was kung fu fighting

2005-04-12T18:23:00.000-05:00

well, im in a good mood :-)i didnt really accomplish what i had hoped to today, but i think good things will happen anyway. also, thanks to friends who still like me even when i act like an idiot.in seminar we started watching easy rider, and i still like it(suprise!) me and mr sutton sang to 'the weight' and i told him about how it was my most favorite song. but i think a lot of people in the

take a load for free

2005-04-11T23:26:00.000-05:00

sometimes i feel like i havent grown up at all. like i havent yet gotten over issues that i should have gotten over five years ago. it makes me feel like an idiot, and like its almost too late to do anything about at this point.certain things in my life right now are really stressful, like college, but also other stuff. speaking of college, im really unsure. one moment im like 'im going to bard.

hey, bungalo bill

2005-04-10T23:15:00.000-05:00

i have gotten sucked into the bard lj, and i still have to do that english proposal thing. ill probably just end up bsing my way through it and shell give me a terrible grade.in the meantime, i would like to share with you a wonderful story by borgesThe PlotTo make his horror perfect, Ceaser, hemmed about at the foot of a statue by his friends' impatient knives, discovers among the faces and the

and the beat goes on

2005-04-10T13:18:00.000-05:00

damnit. things are not looking good and i think i lost something that doesnt belong to me.

so shes taking lots of vitamins

2005-04-10T02:53:00.000-05:00

the show is over, and it went pretty good. at the cast party we played the funnest game ever, wink. i have rug burns to beat all rug burns, but i really want to play it again soon. it makes me wish i was a unitarian.things again did not go as hoped tonight, but i got cheered up(thank you) and told a really funny story, and it made me happy.tomorrow is homework day.

shes gotta discipline her body

2005-04-09T01:25:00.000-05:00

oh, today did not turn out quite as i had hoped, but it was fun. tomorrow, perhaps?the scene changes in the show were awful, among other things; there were a lot of mistakes. but apparently people didnt notice them (or maybe they were just being polite). i had fun dancing backstage, and i got to frolick today(yay) and also sing 'blister in the sun'.there was some akwardness today(eek), but also

hes just an inch too sure of himself for me

2005-04-07T22:56:00.000-05:00

today i wore a pretty skirt and felt cute.i also really screwed up the play. the actors were all good, but i felt like i just did one stupid thing after another. like when i accidentally walked across stage during a scene change and touched nothing. and when i called nick kareem. and many other things. i hope no one noticed. but the play was good other than me. hernandos hideway made me crack up

shes giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze

2005-04-06T23:01:00.000-05:00

batia cracks me up in the show.i have high hopes for future things and i really hope they dont get crushed. things like that always happen to me.anyway, i think that the scene changes for the show are just going to suck and thats that.also i want to go visit beloit again, soon. they have an admitted students open house; maybe i should go.

if nothing ever changed, thered be no butterflies

2005-04-05T23:11:00.000-05:00

remember how a couple of days ago i was saying that dan wasnt really all that bad and i didnt see why everyone hated him? yeah... now i see. hes aggravating me because he wont let me move things during scene changes, so i just have to stand around and be like 'whres so-and-so, who should be moving this', instead of moving it myself. he told me i should abuse my power. before we started practice,

hernandos hideway olay

2005-04-04T23:23:00.000-05:00

man have i got a good stamp album for mrs ridenhouri watched the last half of the game, and sorry to all of my illin fan friends. i was rooting for them; at least it was close.did you know that our next pope might be jewish? im totally not making this up.

i would trust her...

2005-04-04T21:16:00.000-05:00

i think im the only person in all of champaign-urbana not watching th game right now.today batia gave this really yummy 'white chocolate with filling in the flavor of cheescake' that was delicious and i ate it very slowly all day. it made me happy. i love candy.i talked to lisa about college and i went to the brown bagger about choosing a college, and during 5th we sat outside and read college

turn on tune in drop out

2005-04-04T02:09:00.000-05:00

ugh. i just finished my paper. i will be dead tomorrow, and i didnt even do any other owrk. i just heard the garbage man come. this si bad. i got distracted by a website about LSD and then one of my books. im not really feeling tired right now; its been weird writing a paper about timothy leary and all this crazy stuff in the middle of the night . anyway, expect me to be very tired tomorrow.

you will know from the way that i shout it

2005-04-03T22:39:00.000-05:00

ah, the stuffing of food and pondering of college continues.im really feeling thats lost hour, because i had a lot of stuff to do today, but blew it of untill now.i went to rehersal, and i had way to much to do. it was confusing and i was bad at delegating. and that dan guy, who everyone has told me not to like, told me what i should be doing, which was actually pretty helpful because i had no

my real names ted hitler

2005-04-02T20:47:00.000-06:00

i just got wait listed at wesleyan and accepted at bard. so, um, i dont know what im gonna do.i ended my fast, and it was wonderful. i ate so much, and i did buy oreos, and they are wonderful. and our sleepover was really fun (sorry you couldnt come, kinz), and it took my mind off the food thing.i actually wasnt really that hungry for most of the time- i just missed food. but then we got to eat

id cry, but id have to put a condom on my face

2005-04-01T18:31:00.000-06:00

so i got rejected from swarthmore and waitlisted at uchicago. im so so nervous about my last two colleges... this is the most stressful thing ever. i spent all of today dreding coming home because i was afraid id get rejections from bard and wesleyan. im unbelievably nervous right now. ive been sitting around weighing my pros and cons from the colleges points of view.in other news, im now 11

i love my baby love my baby so

2005-03-30T22:03:00.000-06:00

im agonizing over my future. today me and max and hannah had a nice dissuccion about college that made me calmer, but the calm has worn away. but i also talked to maxy about mississippi, to remind him that i wanted to go, and he said 'i remember'. im so excited! i cant wait to go back.mr suttom didnt give me an incommplete in seminar even though i have yet to turn anything in.we played volleyball

oh, Shrinkynuts McAngrypants

2005-03-29T22:32:00.000-06:00

no daily show for the second day in a row:( this is terrible.i found plays for GSA and are they wonderful. im excited because they all look good.today i realized how much ive missed soda since my self-imposed ban on coke. i drank a really gross holiday-flavored pepsi after school today because i needed it so much. soda, especially in cans from vending machines, is just the best thing ever.

when i used to go out i knew everyone i saw

2005-03-29T20:00:00.000-06:00

today i need to:find gay shows for GSApractice my hornwrite an email to grandma lindado my paperorder books for historythat list was more for my benifit than yours.i got my CD from eli, and it appears to be wonderful, but im having a hard time figuring out how to transfer it to itunes:(we ran outside in fitness, which was wonderful, and i sat outside during fifth, which was also wonderful, and

ah, i see you have a little swimming mouse

2005-03-28T22:46:00.000-06:00

this week is going to be so hellish. i can tell already.

i wish we only saw good news every time we looked on CNN

2005-03-28T20:36:00.001-06:00

im downloading a grateful dead CD now and its taking FOREVER because all the songs are 9 minutes long.and eli says hes going to make me a CD with nina simone and other stuff and im very excited about it.i went to play rehersal today to do an unclearly defined job that was fun nonetheless. i read the book and gave lines, and the play is pretty cute. esp. batias song.dude, as we speak i am sending

i wish we only saw good news every time we looked on CNN

2005-03-28T20:36:00.000-06:00