It's all just makebelieve
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
i love my baby love my baby so
im agonizing over my future. today me and max and hannah had a nice dissuccion about college that made me calmer, but the calm has worn away. but i also talked to maxy about mississippi, to remind him that i wanted to go, and he said 'i remember'. im so excited! i cant wait to go back.
mr suttom didnt give me an incommplete in seminar even though i have yet to turn anything in.
we played volleyball in pe and it was terrifying.
|
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
oh, Shrinkynuts McAngrypants
no daily show for the second day in a row:( this is terrible.
i found plays for GSA and are they wonderful. im excited because they all look good.
today i realized how much ive missed soda since my self-imposed ban on coke. i drank a really gross holiday-flavored pepsi after school today because i needed it so much. soda, especially in cans from vending machines, is just the best thing ever.
|
when i used to go out i knew everyone i saw
today i need to:
find gay shows for GSA
practice my horn
write an email to grandma linda
do my paper
order books for history
that list was more for my benifit than yours.
i got my CD from eli, and it appears to be wonderful, but im having a hard time figuring out how to transfer it to itunes:(
we ran outside in fitness, which was wonderful, and i sat outside during fifth, which was also wonderful, and the bell tower played 'a bicycle built for 2' and it reminded me of 2001(daaaiiiiisssy, daaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiisssssy). then we had class outside for anthro and i made a brilliant comment about religion(im so proud of this. i think ive told a billion people today. what a dork i am)
play rehrsal was good. i saw some cute dance numbers and such, but i was very thirsty the whole time. i was also worried about going home to find college rejections, but i didnt get any mail at all. cordelia drove me home and we stopped at the imc, which was cool. id never been there before.
|
Monday, March 28, 2005
ah, i see you have a little swimming mouse
this week is going to be so hellish. i can tell already.
|
i wish we only saw good news every time we looked on CNN
im downloading a grateful dead CD now and its taking FOREVER because all the songs are 9 minutes long.
and eli says hes going to make me a CD with nina simone and other stuff and im very excited about it.
i went to play rehersal today to do an unclearly defined job that was fun nonetheless. i read the book and gave lines, and the play is pretty cute. esp. batias song.
dude, as we speak i am sending eli my woodstock CDs over AIM. isnt that exciting???
and i just recieved wonderful new from ayesha dearest. ask her about it.
anyway, me and hannahs letter didnt get in the DI, but the day was good anyway. lost of sitting out side and being comforted by lisa about my chances of getting in to college.
|
i wish we only saw good news every time we looked on CNN
im downloading a grateful dead CD now and its taking FOREVER because all the songs are 9 minutes long.
and eli says hes going to make me a CD with nina simone and other stuff and im very excited about it.
i went to play rehersal today to do an unclearly defined job that was fun nonetheless. i read the book and gave lines, and the play is pretty cute. esp. batias song.
dude, as we speak i am sending eli my woodstock CDs over AIM. isnt that exciting???
and i just recieved wonderful new from ayesha dearest. ask her about it.
anyway, me and hannahs letter didnt get in the DI, but the day was good anyway. lost of sitting out side and being comforted by lisa about my chances of getting in to college.
|
Sunday, March 27, 2005
look around and you will find no ones really color blind
ive spent all of today putting music on my wonderful ipod:D. which is nice, but kind of a waste of a day, i guess, when i have at least another 10 pages or so to write for my paper. since i found out that mr sutton wont be there,. ive decided to slack off.im listening to ave Q and reminiscing instead.
im really craving to watch americas next top model, and i think its on wendsday, but im too embarassed to actually watch it. i also want watch depserate housewives, which im not ashamed at all about; my mom will watch it with me.
we had an easter egg hunt today and i totally won. i got 5 eggs. then my mom made deviled eggs and im so looking forward to eating them.
|
it puts the lotion on its skin
me and alison went over to kinzies tonight (last night) and hannah and betsy and max and nick were there. we went to the park and played tag and sardines, and then a cop came and gave alison and betsy warnings because we werent allowed to be there because it was closed, and they were the ones driving. it was traumatizing. then we (sans kinzie and betsy) went back to my house to watch the daily show, because many people had never seen it. then we watched 'the big chill' and then i drove hannah home while they played a really creepy song on the radio. it was very fun.
and i learned that mr. sutton wont even be there monday so it wont be a big deal if i dont have my paper. woohoo.
|
Friday, March 25, 2005
buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks
im in philly agian now, coming home tommorrow, though ill probably spend most of the rest of the weekend working, unless someone drags me away from it:)
yesterday me and dad went to MoMA and stood in this gigantic line to get in, but it was worth it once we did because we saw so many wonderful paintings. i love museums, a lot. we also went to the photography floor which was cool.
then we had lunch and then we walked around the willage and went shopping. i advised my dad on some shirts, and i got some clothes, too (2 shirts from american apperal and some brown curdoroy pants that we 75 or something percent off). we went into the light-fixture store to look at the exploding plates chandelire that im in love with. we had dinner at silvanos and talked to silvano which was cool, cause i didnt get to last time i wad there. i had the most wonderful apetizer in the WORLD. we also went to this tiny little choclate shop that was the most charming place ever and had creme brulee chocolates that werent transportable, so the experience has to stay in NYC. and we passed where alan r. liss inc used to be and dad pointed it out. then we looked and its still in the NYC phone book, which is wonderful. today we went all around dads old neighborhood and it was so much fun to see my dad wax nostalgic about the water fountains in riverside park and tell me about his childhood. my dads side of the family is so cool. i found out that that picture of the woman in the 1800s with the really short, modern hair is my great-great grandmother, annie liss, which i think is wonderful.
we also saw this guy who has a show on comedy central while walking in soho, but neither of us could remember his name. but at least we saw someone famous.
the night before that we went to see 'the glass menagerie' and it was really good and i saw batia and her dad. it was really good even though our seats werent the best things ever.
my paper is almost 9 pages long and im looking forward to coming home. soon we're going out to have dinner with billy laufer again at a sushi resturaunt. i hope they have salmon or something.
|
buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks
im in philly agian now, coming home tommorrow, though ill probably spend most of the rest of the weekend working, unless someone drags me away from it:)
yesterday me and dad went to MoMA and stood in this gigantic line to get in, but it was worth it once we did because we saw so many wonderful paintings. i love museums, a lot. we also went to the photography floor which was cool.
then we had lunch and then we walked around the willage and went shopping. i advised my dad on some shirts, and i got some clothes, too (2 shirts from american apperal and some brown curdoroy pants that we 75 or something percent off). we went into the light-fixture store to look at the exploding plates chandelire that im in love with. we had dinner at silvanos and talked to silvano which was cool, cause i didnt get to last time i wad there. i had the most wonderful apetizer in the WORLD. we also went to this tiny little choclate shop that was the most charming place ever and had creme brulee chocolates that werent transportable, so the experience has to stay in NYC. and we passed where alan r. liss inc used to be and dad pointed it out. then we looked and its still in the NYC phone book, which is wonderful. today we went all around dads old neighborhood and it was so much fun to see my dad wax nostalgic about the water fountains in riverside park and tell me about his childhood. my dads side of the family is so cool. i found out that that picture of the woman in the 1800s with the really short, modern hair is my great-great grandmother, annie liss, which i think is wonderful.
we also saw this guy who has a show on comedy central while walking in soho, but neither of us could remember his name. but at least we saw someone famous.
the night before that we went to see 'the glass menagerie' and it was really good and i saw batia and her dad. it was really good even though our seats werent the best things ever.
my paper is almost 9 pages long and im looking forward to coming home. soon we're going out to have dinner with billy laufer again at a sushi resturaunt. i hope they have salmon or something.
|
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
exploding plastic inevitable
i really want to come home because i miss some people a lot. i wish i was in champaign so i could hang out with them.
|
apologies of america
im in middletown, ct right now, in the middle of my spring break trip. its going pretty well. i met batia in philly and we went shopping which was fun, and me and dad had dinner with his friend billy laufer at this very futuristic japanese-type resturaunt, and i ate scallops which made me sick. and me and batia and dad had 'high tea' at our hotel that was very snazzy. then i visited swarthmore and it was nice, and i saw batia and cordelia and michael pitt, so it was like a uni reunion. then to bard, which was cool, but in the middle of nowhere. we went on a really long tour, that was only long because there were a billion people on it, and a few people, including this one dude who looked like dennis hopper, had to ask a billion questions that were very repetitve and pointless. it was very agravating. then i went to a philosophy class and then me and dad went on a seperate tour of the performing arts center, which was designed by this really famous architect, gehry, and was amazingly cool. our tour guide was from ecuidor and was pretty entertaining, but the 4 other people on the tour were excruciatingly annoying.
at bard we stayed in the oldest inn in america, and they had comedy central, so we got to watch the daily show. but here in CT they have no daily show, and so im very sad.
but its really beautiful out here on the E. coast.
im working on my paper, but not nearly fast enough. i have 4 pages, which is nowhere near 30. i did write a very nice outline, though, that referenced 'boogie nights'.
|
Friday, March 18, 2005
take another little piece of my heart now
i just took a quiz i found on cordelias lj(http://www.comclub.org/lj/fsquiz.php), and it gave me some answers i was happy about :D
i just inherited my mothers really nice digital camera, because she felt the need to buy a new one. but its very nice and im excited to have a camera again. i wont have to buy a cheap digital camera that gives bad prints every time i want to take pictures now.
|
lift up your voice and sing
me and hannahs lovely letter to the editor didnt get published today:(, but look for it on monday in the DI. its really good.
so im going off to the east coast for spring break, and im sad because i feel like im gonna be missing all the fun that im sure will be going on this week( though i know all of us seminar people wont be having any fun. we'll be working.). but me and batia are gonna have fun out on the coast. and im excited to go shopping, and to see 'the glass menagerie', and i guess im excited to visit the colleges. im just going to miss my friends.
i feel like i made some steps int he right direction today.
i sat outside with hannah during 5th and it was so beautiful and warm, but then i was afraid that i had missed the bell and that i was missing my anthro test. but, thankfully, i wasnt.
in seminar we had no class so we went to siebel and got food and it was delicious and then sat in the lounge. and mr sutton got in trouble for not supervising us.
i discovered that i may actually get to go to mississippi after all, because it turns out nick and max are going next year, so i would have roommates. i was asking everyone, and it didnt sound like anyone else wanted to go. i hope i wouldnt be imposing my self on them, only i really want to go. but then i was telling mom and it turns out she has reservations about me taking a year off.ugh. oh, but all the kids( i miss kendrick and boo and willie and marie and everyone so much).
at dinner today i was telling my family about the 30 hour famine, and how they should donate money, and my brother got up and came back with three dollars, and he was like "its world hunger. i cant just sit there". oh, that boy is so suprising sometimes.
so i was reading the blog of a certain someone after school today, and i was shocked(shocked!). she was talking about how she hated 'things fall apart' because she thought all the people in it were 'savages'(her words), and she was talking about how she thought paul newman was the hottest guy ever, except for rock hudson, 'but we know what he died of' WTF?????????
|
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
you cant dance and stay uptight
im listening to 'dancing in the moonlight' and reading AIDS articles. i finished all my articles from the NYT, good for me, but mostly im feeling, um, melancholy?, that im not spending this time with people. reading AIDS articles depresses me, and there are people that i really would rather be spending time with... im so frusterated. in some ways summer will be good because i will have no more school or assignments to take up my time.
damn you, person with no AIM that i really want to talk to.
|
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
a universal statement
dont you hate it when you know exactly what you want, but for some reason you just cant get it? i do...
|
nobody told me that the road would be easy
again with the dread of graduating; this is getting to be a recurring theme of mine. i feel like a defective senior, because im not anxiously anticipating leaving.
last night i went to see 'bride and prejudice' with hannah. it was so exciting. now that i know mom and dad will let me go out on school nights, im gonna try and exercize that option more. because of my stupid college visits, im gonna be gone all of spring break, so i wont be here to hang out with people :(. but i can go out on school nights!
speaking of brides, joan just came over to try on her mothers wedding dress, to see if she wanted to wear it for the wedding. it was really fun. i love wedding dresses; theyre so beautiful and complex, and this one's a really retro one from 1960. its really cool, and i liked it a lot. im really excited that joan and ken are getting married this spring, becaus ill definatly get to go to their wedding. i love weddings. a lot. they make me cry, no matter whos getting married, and i really like joan and ken, so this one will be prime time for me(and my mom) to cry.
also: the prints for my moms picture book about dark matter just came. i dont know what the technical term for them is, but its like a rough version of how it will look, with sketches of the pictures and all the formating and stuff. its really cute!
|
Sunday, March 13, 2005
this goes out to all my baby mamas
today i went to the library and printed out articles for my paper, for TWO HOURS untill they kicked me out cause it was closing. im doing good on the research- i should definatly be able to manage it by the end of the week.
when i was leaving the library corrinne the librarian hinked at me and scared me, but then we talked about my paper while she blocked the traffic. shes nice, i like her a lot.
then i came home and watched 'double indemnity' while i sewed up the hole in my pants. they look cool now. at some point i have to read 'their eyes were watching god', which im really enjoying, but i still cant bring myself to read it. but im loking forward to tommorrow, when i have two free periods and basically no homework!
something to weigh in on:
ive been thinking, and i think im gonna change to an lj sometime in the near future. yes, i know blogs are cooler, i think so too. BUT, being the 'i dont want to graduate and loose all of my friends' type of person i am, an lj might be nice, because, as ayesha has told me, its more of a community. i know, thats a wimpy way to stay friends with people, but at this point anything sounds nice. but someother nice things about ljs: you can have friends only posts, you can do lj cuts, you have a little 'music' space( which i know is just to show off your music tastes, but maybe i want to show off my music tastes).but, if i got an lj, i would loose all of my entries on this blog, and i like the idea of being able to look back at what ive talked about.
anyway, those are my pros and cons about a relativly trivial issue. tell me what to do.
|
you make me feel like dancing(i wanna dance the night away)
today i stole my little brothers balloon to inhale the helium. i also went to the dance, which ive realized is my last n. attic dance EVER. it was good- i danced badly, as usual, but i had fun, and the last song played was 'dancing queen'.
then i came home and swooned over the rabbi on six feet under. also: i tivo'd 'double indemnity', my most favorite movie ever not released on dvd, so i can never watch it. im so excited! im never going to let it get earased, at least not untill 2007, when its schedualed to be released on dvd(yes, ive looked this up).
|
Friday, March 11, 2005
ruth, i read your private letter to yourself
today i watched lots of basketball and sang the templtons song from 'charlottes web'(the fair is a veritable smorgasboard smorgasboard smorgasboard) in a helium-voice. it was hilarious. then we visited max, fresh from getting his wisdom teeth out, but he wasnt very entertaining.
me and alison watched a lot of six feet under, too. i love six feet under, and all the characters on it.
anyway, im going to sleep because i have a horn lesson in the morning tommorrow and then at night im going to the dance.
|
Thursday, March 10, 2005
oh, i thought you said provisions
today i learned that i am much more easily readable than i had thought. its a bit unsettling.
i napped both 5th hour and seminar, which was quite nice, and we have no math homework, and im at home ALL ALONE right now, and i dont really know what all those facts add up to. but theyre all true. in math class it was nice because billions of people were gone, so we all sat at 2 tables and it was cozy.
when i got home from school i had letter from beloit telling me to pick my first-year seminar choices. im supposed to pick 4 and rank them. i dont know if i should do this yet because i havent decided to go there yet, but i looked at all the choices and here are my top 4:
- expats in paris(sounds like a historical research thing about the '20s)
-post-colonial stories( like a lit/history class about , well, postcolonialism)
-passages( an anthro thing about rituals with living/dying)
-i dont know what my 4th choice is
just now this dude came to the door and i thought i was alone( though it turns out alisons still here). anyway, after getting all paranoid because of sue's email and that dear abbey coloumn, i didnt want to open the door cause its all dark out and i thought i was all alone. anyway, so i just said 'who is it', and gracie was all barking, and he was like 'im raising money for st. judes hospital', and i said 'were not interested' through the door and walked away. now i feel bad. he probably was really rasing money for st. judes, which is a good cause, and i was really rude to him. im sorry wherever you are st. judes dude! its nothing against you personally, but i didnt know who you were and so i didnt want to open the door! it was a judgment call! now i feel really bad. even though i had no money to give him anyway, i could have been more polite...:( im a terrible person.
|
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
with the faith of a mustard seed we can move mountains
i hate college. i wish our whole class would just stay together forever. so much. this is the most stressful thing that has ever happened to me, and every time i do something fun, i just think 'in a few months, i wont get to do this anymore'. and ive started to weigh my colleges based on how close id be to other people, which is completely ridiculous, i know. but im so worried about losing my friends ive worked 5 years to become friends with. and i love you all so much! this is a sorce of much anxiety for me, in case you couldnt tell by the fact that i talk about it all the time. what will i do? im terrible at staying in touch with people; it is not one of my strong suits. and even if i do miraculously stay in touch with everyone, ill still hardly ever see them. i dont want to graduate. i really really dont. and everyone promise to talk to me all the time when im at college.
|
i was thinking about that anklet
i did REALLY badly on my math test today, despite the fact that i went to mrs jockush for help(then again, i didnt really study at all 5th. still, i thought i was prepared). then lisa didnt comfort me at all when i asked her how likley it was that colleges would reject my admission if i got a C in math. luckily, i went to seminar right after that, and dakota tought us Pimpology. i learned how to do a pimp walk, and how to talk 'hood', and all this other good stuff. we even learned about how to be a female pimp, and what the diffrence between a whore and a ho is. it was extra-informative.
i went home and wasted 2 hours watching that mary-kate and ashley movie, and felt a bit guilty. but i also learned how to swallow grapes whole! it took me a halfhour. the trick is to have a grape taste in your mouth while you're swallowing it, so that your body thinks youve chewed it.
|
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
how long shall they kill our prophets
people people people. i want some.
im listening to ;legend', and i got confused about the order. i still am. i swaer, 'redemption song' was last before. shouldnt i know? i listen to thie album ALL THE TIME( i dont get high all the time though, fyi). so i looked it up on amazon, and became more confused when it said there were 2 tracks on the album i dont have. am i missing something? granted, its burned, but do i have a fake 'legend'? and what happened to mine to mess up the order? (or, what happened in my brain to mess up my memory?)
|
i need you, you need me
damn, im an idiot. i get a chance to redeem myself and i throw it away.
anyway, in the bad news, we(alison) called the virginia and theyre all out of passes:(. however, we can still buy tickets as soon as they start selling, and scotts mom will save good seats for us. so i guess its not as bad as it could have been...
in world since 45 today robin came in and talked again, and he asked how we would fix the acheivement gap, and we ended up just designing a socialist society. it was nice.
then in anthro this dude talked to us about how the suppoesed 'obesity epidemic' isnt really a problem.
yeah. that was my day. sometimes i find myself really looking forward to school because it means ill see my friends again. when i go home im so isolated. even with orchestra, the worst class ever, and me failing calc, i really look forward to going to school.
|
Monday, March 07, 2005
i see no changes
i just remembered to buy ebertfest tickets, but when i went to the website and clikced on the link that said 'buy online', it said they had no more passes to sell. i hope i can still buy them at the theater. im calling tommorow. its still march- passes dont sell out that early, do they? now im worried... if i dont get a pass ill have to wait in line like everyone else.
|
pretty funny looking!
i just read this thing from kovacs detailing all the ways you can get killed by serial killers, rapists, robbers, etc. why does she feel its her duty to send this stuff to everyone? and where does she get it?
on a side note, those looking for a good movie should watch 'murials wedding'. i just watched it. twice. its the saddest romantic-comedy-type movie ive ever seen.
i also finished printing out all the articles i need from the NYT. i just have a years worth from the SFC to do and im all done printing out articles!
|
Sunday, March 06, 2005
whats wrong with the world mama? people livin' like they got no mamas
ah, today turned out well.
i wnet on an errand to world harvest for my dad, and bought chai tea, among other things. on the way there and back, i rolled my windows all the way down and blared that cranberries song from 'boys on the side' really loud, over and over. it was fun and sunny and warm.
my dad went to persimmons, or whatever that place is called, and came back with the most delicious cheese and salami ever, and my mom was just taking this chocolate-cherry bread out of the oven, so i made myself some chai tea and ate lots of scrumpcious food and read a comforting article about ministers in black churches in the NYT.
then i took gracie on a really long walk to the park and back.
i contemplated cleaning my room, but got distracted looking at my parents bookshelves, trying to decide what book to read next. i decided im going to try and read 'midnights children' again. i didnt finish it last time i tried, but i dont know why not; it seems like just the kind of book i love. maybe it just wasnt the right time before. anyway, now im going for it again.
then i redecorated my room, and by 'redecorated', i mean 'taped things on my wall'. i added clarksdale pictures, and bob marley pictures from 'rolling stone', and some other stuff. i left a big gapping hole for my 'glass menagerie' program cover, which im gonna see when i go to NY over spring break :D
|
nothin but blue skies
today is SOOOOO beautiful that i really want to be outside enjoying it. i went to check out our pond, but the fish were hybernating and there were all these ugly leaves, so it looked a little sad. now im inside again. i read all of the NYT articles that i had printed out, and reorganized my seminar stuff, so im feeling productive. now i just want to go out. i wanted to go shopping, but i was unable to find someone to go with me :(... other things i feel like doing:
a) drawing
b) cleaning my room
c) going to borders to spend my gift certificate
d) walking gracie
hmmmm... i feel like im wasting today, just sitting inside.
|
Saturday, March 05, 2005
im quietly judging you
today was a big slack day for me. i finished 'cat on a hot tin roof', and it remains one of my favorite plays. im going to construe that as work because otherwise my day was completely useless. but sitting around bundled up in my bed in the late afternoon when the sun was coming through my window reading a great book- ah, it was lovely.
other than that: i woke up at noon, watched some tv, ate food, watched more tv... blah blah. it kinda sucked. i have this big urge to cook something, or go shopping. i should have done that today. maybe tommorow.
do you ever feel especially angsty? like in 'my so called life' or brat pack movies? i do. in some ways it sucks because its, you know, angst. but it also kind of confirms the fact that im a teenager. do you know what i mean? in that way its kind of nice. it makes me feel universal in some way.
|
Friday, March 04, 2005
i see your true colors, thats why i love you
i called in to 107.1 driving home from school today, and requested 'redemption song'. heres my conversation:
me: can you play redemption song?
him: ok. what are you doing now?
me: um, driving home
him: are you, like, really hungry right now?
me: nope, im just driving home...
him: oh. i thought maybe that was why you wanted to listen to bob marley
then he went on to ask me my name, etc, and wouldnt hang up, which was annoying because i was trying to drive, but i was very amused by that. and then it was the next song he played, which was amazing, because they never play songs i request. it made me happy.
today in 5th period we went to jarlings, which was awesome, because it opened today. it was like a little road trip with all the cool people who have 5th free. but i almost hit this bycalist, which was scary, and was generally a bad driver( but it wasnt my fault i almost hit that dude; it was his). i think i drive worse when other people are in the car.
anyway, its looking like im gonna have a boring friday night... sigh.
|
Thursday, March 03, 2005
heaven help the man who wont reach 21
i got a billion tennessee williams books from the library today from my project, and i started re-reading 'cat on a hot tin roof', one of my most favorite plays. turns out, it takes place in the mississippi delta, and it TOTALLY mentions clarksdale.
speaking of clarksdale, i got my pictures back (did i mention that yesterday?). some of them are really cute, especially the one of me giving boo a piggyback ride, which may be the best picture ever taken of me.
in world since 45 today we talked about no child left behind, and it made me really deppressed, but it also really made me want to take a year off to volunteer at sherard elementary. but then when i got home, i read kates lj, and it made me not-sure again.
anyway, im looking forward to tommorrow, and the weekend, and im also really craving human contact. sigh.
|
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
even lana turners smile
i played 'hope' for my mom and made her listen to all the lyrics, and then when she didnt understand them i made her read them. i am a little obssessed?
i think i have a tendancy to post a lot when im lonely. someone kepp me company :(. even AIM is good. im so mad that certain people dont have AIM, because i really want to talk to them sometimes.
hmmm... being lonely and bored, when i should be doing homework.
|
let your soul gravitate
aaagh. there are some weird things happening and i dont know what to do about them. i hate socially akward situations, i wish they would just dissapear of the face of the earth. i wish i could just interact with people however i wanted and not have to think about billions of other things that complicate stuff. im frusterated. im afraid that i wont have enough time to resolve all of this weirdness before we graduate.
WHY DO WE HAVE TO GRADUATE?? i want to stay forever. im so afraid that after i leave ill never talk to most people again. im trying desperatly to become best friends with everyone right now. im so sad.
and then theres all this weirdness, too. i hate complicated things like this. im no good at them.
on a less cryptic note, we read this thing in anthro today about how race doesnt exist, and it was so enlightening.
also, i am officially in love with 'welcome to the dirty dirty', our habitat album. especially:
changes-tupac
heaven help us all- ray charles
baby mama- fantasia
where is the love- black eyed peas
and of course 'hope'
this may convert me to rap, which i used to not like on principle, but this stuff is AMAZING.
|
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
take this music and use it
thought i would share these beautiful lyrics with you:
Hope
I wish the way I was living could stop, serving rocks,
Knowing the cops is hot when I'm on the block, And I
Wish my brother woulda made bail,
So I won't have to travel 6 hours to see him in jail, And I
Wish that my grandmother wasn't sick,
Or that we would just come up on some stacks and hit a lick, And I (I wish)
Wish my homies wouldn't have to suffer,
When the streets get the upper had on us and we lose a brother, And I
Wish I could go deep in a zone,
And lift the spirits of the world with the words with in this song, And I (I wish)
Wish I could teach a could teach a soul to fly,
Take away the pain out cha hands and help you hold them high, And I
Wish my hommie Butch was still alive
And on the day of his death we had never took that ride, And I (I wish)
Wish God could protect us from the wrong
So that all the solders that were sent over seas come home
We will never break, though they devastate, we shall motivate,
And we gotta pray, all we got is faith.
Instead of thinking about who gonna die to day,
The Lord is gonna help you feel better, so you ain't gotta cry today.
Sit at the light so long,
And then we gotta move straight forward, cuz we fight so strong,
So when right go wrong,
Just say a little prayer, get ya money man, life go on!!!
Let's HOPE!
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
cause we hopeful
I wish that you could show some love,
Instead of hatin so much when you see some other people commin up (I wish)
I wish I could teach the world to sing,
Watch the music and have 'em trippin of the joy I bring, (shiit)
I wish that we could hold hands,
Listen instead of dissin lessons from a grown man, And I (I wish)
Wish the families that lack, but got love, get some stacks
Brand new shack and a lack that's on dubs, And I
Wish we could keep achieving wonders,
See the vision of the world through the eyes of Stevie Wonder, (you feel me) (I wish)
And I hope all the kids eat,
And don't nobody in my family see six feet, (ya dig)
I hope them mothers stain' strong,
You can make it whether you wit him or your mans gone, And I (I wish)
Wish I could give every celly some commissary,
And the po po bring the heat on them priest like they did R. Kelly, And I
Wish that DOC could scream again
And bullets could reverse so Pac and Biggie breath again, (shit) (I wish)
Then one day they could speak again,
I wish that we only saw good news every time we look at CNN,
I wish that we could never get the blues,
Wish I could bring back the people that died, Eddy too
I wish that we could walk a path, stay doin the right thing
Hustle hard so the kids maintain up in the game,
Let's HOPE
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
cause we hopeful
Wish the earth wasn't so apocalyptic,
I try to spread my message to the world the best way I can give it,
We can make it always so optimistic,
If you don't listen gotta live my life the best way I can live it,
I pray for justice when we go to court,
Wish it was all good so the country never even went to war
Why can't we kick it and just get em on,
And in the famous words of Mr. King "Why can't we all just get along",
Or we can find a better way to shop and please, And I
Hope we find a better way to cop a keys, And I
Wish everybody would just stop and freeze,
And ask way are we fulfillin these downfalls and prophecies,
You can be wrong if it's you doubting,
With the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains,
And only the heavenly father and ease the hurt,
Just let it go and keep prayin on your knees in church!!
And let's HOPE
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away,
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.
cause we hopeful
|
im hopeful, yes i am, hopeful for today
we had a mini-habitat trip to see coach carter after school today. at frist i was afraid it would be bad, but it turned out to be a pretty good, if cheesy, movie. also, my limited spanish knowledge came into use. the ending made me go "awwwww" especially that song. im listening to it right now. for those of you wondering, it is: "hope", by twista. oh, the most wonderful song ever!
i also went to the library after school today with hannah and read about AIDS, and its really weird because there are starting to be lots more stories about AIDS now because of that new strain, and its like de ja vu.
ok, a hypothetical situation: suppose that someone tries to have a disscussion with you and it really traumatizes you, but its probably a good thing to talk about. and because you are so traumatized, you say stupid things instead of intellegent things. do you a) pretend it never happened, because you were so traumatized by the first disscussion, or b) bring it up with them again so you can say the things you should have.
man, sometimes this stupid society really sucks( that wasnt meant to directly address clarksdale, i promise). today molly told me that there wasnt room for more people to go on the summer habitat trip. i hope thats not true.
my aunt sent me this really nice email congratulating me for getting in to college, but i cant reply to her because of my stupid email.
|
