It's all just makebelieve
Monday, February 28, 2005
the mississippi delta is shining like a national guitar
got into knox :D. thats school 2.
i went to school today and felt sad. well, part of me was happy to see my friends that i hadnt seen for a week, but i was also sad to be back at school. at least i wasnt alone at home making my alone face. i find that after i spend all of my time with people, i get really depressed when i have to go home alone, even though im a pretty antisocial person normally. it happened after the senior trip and its happening now. DAMMIT WHERE ARE MY PEOPLE??
when i was in mississippi i realized how much i say 'oh my god', because every time i said it i was afriad i had offended somebody. so i am trying to cut it out of my speech but it is not working very well.
im really starting to want to go to clarksdale next year. maybe its because im here, and far away from the things that amde me think i wanted to. when i was there i had serious doubts but now im just like YES!
im eagerly awaitng my CD, welcome to the dirty dirty or whatever its called. the devotion that kathleen and natalie and kate gave really made me appriciate hip hop, and i want that CD so bad! when i got home saturday i really wanted to listen to black music, so i listened to otis redding because he was the best i could do. i spent all of today singing 'baby mama' and other songs from the CD, and looking at pictures from the trip ( im getting mine developed soon. theres a really good one of me and verna and mama cooper in my locker. and ms linder has a nice one of me dancing with peanut and kim. and hillary had a cool one of me dancing in the rain. there are good ones that arent of me, btw)
it doesnt seem like its been 3 days since we got back.possibly because i slept through the weekend.
i talked to jj on AIM. it made me happy, even though for a while it was kathleen but i still thought it was jj.
now in english we're readin 'their eyes were watching god', and in anthro were readin 'call to home', which is about the reverse migration of the black community. i wonder if billy vaughn and ms linder planned this...
for those of you that want to see pictures, here are ms linders. hopefully, tom will make a web site soon of ALL of our pictures, but so far these are the only ones up:
http://www.uni.uiuc.edu/~slinder/habitat/page_01.htm
some of them are really good.
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Sunday, February 27, 2005
were all the same color when you turn off the light
im back from clarksdale and i wish i was still there. it was so amazing, i dont really know how to describe it. the people there are so wonderful and friendly and loving. and now that im back i miss them. and everything seems really trivial, and i feel guilty about it. i mean, in clarksdale, there are lots and lots of habitat houses, and even more houses that are literally falling apart. and then right next to them are these huge houses that look like they could belong in champaign urbana. in the north you get seperate neighborhoods, a "good" one and a "bad" one, but in the south theyre all together. mr butler was telling us that its because rich white people didnt want the people that worked for them to live far away. the legacy of slavery and plantations is so obvious down there. sherard, this one town, is basically a row of houses and then a gigantic plantation mansion. i dont care if the sherard family is in charge of farrel-sherard habitat, look at the house theyre living in. and what did sherard look like before habitat? it was just a row of huts.
but people are so loving and wonderful, or at least the people we interacted with. after the election, everyone joked "only travel in blue states", like we were superioir, and didnt want to associate with them, and i think thats terrible. maybe i do disagree with them on a lot of things. they prayed at school, and i dont think thats very appropriate. the most homophobia i saw was a bumper sticker, but i hear that for the most part people are really homophobic. and for the first few days i thoguht about that a lot. but the people jus thave so much need, and they seemed to embrace all of the good things about christianity, the 'love thy neighbor' aspects. it made me want to go to church. us in the "blue states" could learn a lot from them.
and i went to school and the kids are so wonderful. there was willie, who was so stuborn and cute, and maria, who was tiny and adorable and i carried her around. and kendrick, this deaf kid who was so precocious, and he recognized me when i came back the second day. i loved them all and i wanted to take them all home with me. and there are no white kids in the public schools. in the kindergarten classroom i was in, they were all black, except for maria, who was hispanic. the white families, even the really poor ones, send their kids to private schools, that arent even any better academically. it made me mad.
i dont think ive done such a good job of describing it to you. but im seriously considering taking a year off and going down there next year. id volunteer at the school. i know that several other people started considering it while we were down there, so i wouldnt be alone. and i talked to kathleen about it. i dont know... it needs thinking. i didnt sleep for ages last night because i was thinking about mississippi. anyway, ill talk to mr sutton and other people and think about it. i just really want to go back.
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Saturday, February 19, 2005
well done, hypothetical you!
so, we picked good graduation songs, though the walk off isnt my first choice. the ride up with henry was funny. i really enjoy his parents, especially renee. so we got htere and registered and then saw beloits improv troupe. they were ok. then the president gave a speech, where he mentioned lots of the people that were there (like, "ones a swim coach"), and he mentioned henry TWICE( "a latin scholar; a spelling champion"), so i was glad to find out that we werent actually competing. then i went off with my host, who was a little weird, but the other girl she was hosting was so drop dead gorgeous. plus she was nice, and we banded together. we went to this facutly fair, where they had representivies from diffrent departments standing around to talk to students, and we were too shy to approach anyone at first, because we had nothing to say. but then i talked to this english prof, who had gone to the u of i, and he asked me 'what part of champaign do you live in', which i thought was a dumb question because its all one part.i talked to this philosophy proffesor who was very impressed about our billy vaughns class, and then i talked to an anthro professor with ariel. she was really nice, and told me all about her reaserch in tunisia. then i talked to the head of the latin american studies program, who wasnt very talkative, but seemed nice.
we went to this student directed shakespeare thing, where they performed scenes from his plays, which was cool. then we went back to our hosts house(it was the french house;netiher of us could soeak french) and watched quills, that movie about the marquis de sade. it was just as weird as youd think a movie about the marquis de sade would be. then we slept in a REALLY cold room. in the morning we got up and i went to this presentation about study abroad, and then my interview. i was really nervous about it when i found out that i was going to be interviewed by a panal of poeple, not just one, and that the head of the panal was a math professor. but it wasnt that bad. it was only 3 people, and one was an english prof and the other a student. i accidentally made activism club sound really stupid, but other than that i think it went well. i told them all about reinaldo arenas, and felt intellegent. i told them that when i went to college i wanted write or direct plays, and the english guy is like 'but those are two very diffrent thing you know', and i felt a little stupid. but other than that it went well.
then me and dad drove back, and i drove for a little bit, and we bought tools, which was fun, and soon im gonna go see sideways with drew. bye.
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Thursday, February 17, 2005
wir leben und wir sterben hier
im listening to die prinzen. it makes me so happy.
i went to ayeshas house today and we took a shower partially clothed and then she blow dried my hair. its so clean and beautiful. im going to wear it down tommorrow if it still looks nice.
the good news about tommorrow: i will get to come to school, so i can argue about graduation. the bad news: it turns out our class DOES have bad taste in music. yes, were not the dC, but heres the thing. during 5th period weve been talking aboutg raduation songs for the npast few days, and i was really relieved because we all came up with good songs. i thought "yay, this will be easy, ill be happy no matter what." but then during seminar, we talked about it some more,and a few people (aka, ben sands and bro) wanted us to have weslley willis songs, or 'i touch myself', or things like that. NO NO NO. its a GRADUATION! these are my picks:
walk on: something by the beatles (such as 'here comes the sun')
walk off: changes (david bowie) or something by the beach boys( good vibrations, wouldnt it be nice if we were older, god only knows) or kodachrome(paul simon)
speaking of music, today during weights they played that cranberrys song that i LOVE. the one in 'boys on the side' and 'chungking express'(but there its in cantonese). it reminds me of being a little kid.
good things happened today. i was happy.
now im reading this one book called 'the reader'. its about this 15 year okd boy who gets in a relationship with a 30-something woman, and then other stuff happens. my dad gave it to me. its really good so far, and a quick read, which is nice, since im technically reading a diffrent book. that one was going slow, so i decided to take a break to see if i really wanted to read it( it sounds like im in a relationship with it, doesnt it?)
last night i was roflmao because of the daily show. just thought id tell you all, though im NOT going to tell you what happened, because im sure your very tired of me repeating it to you so its not funny at all. if you want to hear, though, ask and i will be glad.
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Wednesday, February 16, 2005
i pulled in to nazareth
NOOOOOO i just put my new CD in the CD player, and it said 'no disc'. i dont know what it was talking about! i just spent a half hour burning it! :(
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wait a minute chester, you know im a peaceful man
i just made a wonderful mix cd. it is so great.
now im burning the QT collection for allison, finally.
i have a new book to read, but i should be studying for my english test.
im carpooling with henry to beloit. it should be fun.
i may be going to NYC again over spring break with dad. it will be fun. i might get to see a tennessee williams play.
speaking of tennessee williams, im doing him for my english assignment. not only am i in love with him, but theres tons of literary criticsm about him. like " ' cat on a hot tin roof' as a portrayal of homosexual fears in the cold war" and other similarly pretentious titles.
also: i love 5th period.
this has been a very fractured entry. bye.
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Tuesday, February 15, 2005
the pope-ulance! hahahahaha
today went from good to bad to good again. lets see...
at SLC i watched this movie, la belle noisuese, which is all about this artist drawing this woman, 2/3 of the movie is just him sketching, and you just watch him sketch. it sounds boring, but it was so cool. this has a point, i swear. so, in anthro, i felt inspired by his artisticness, and i decided to draw a naked person. you know, like how artists draw naked people? they draw their backs and it looks artistic?(in this movie, the female lead, emanuelle beart, spent most of the time naked) anyway, i drew a naked person. from behind, so it wasnt all that racy, and i was feeling really artistic, and then i thought "i just drew a naked person! in class! what if someone saw! theyll think im weird! only real artists can draw naked people..." and then i hid it and felt sheepish. but it was actually quite a nice drawing, if i do say so myself. it had shading and everything.
in seminar i went to the library with hannah and ariel and i learned how to use microfilm, but after an hour i only had 4 articles copied... im never going to finish all this research. its just too much. i dont know what ill do. while i was whizzing through the microfilm pages, i kept on seeing articles i wanted to read. like this obit for fassbinder, this director dude that i like. so i got sidetracked a lot. and microfilm is fun. but still, FOUR ARTICLES??? thats 15 minutes per article, averaged out. bad average.
anyway, then i got all dressed up for the orchestra concert. im wearing my beautiful red skirt and gray sweater and blue shirt. and earring. yes, im wearing earrings. i looked so put together. it made me feel happy. the concert itself was icky( but, the last time ill play starts and stripes forever-woohoo!), but the chorus concert was nice. ok, i didnt watch it, i hung out in the north attic with ayesha and batia and it made my day. we practiced walking like dear marilyn, and danceing, and we made up a little routine( im low-high-low-med-low-med), and i accidentally did something dirty with a tuba. on accident! i swear! anyway, it was awesome and made me happy.
then i went home and watched a very funny daily show. even the interview was funny.
and i just remembered i have homework. must do it. toodleloo.
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Monday, February 14, 2005
happy valentines day
some reflections on the Day of Love:
i felt both loved and unloved today(not at the same time). feeling loved is better.
i should have said "a" reflection, because thats it for reflecting.
last night i had a song from kill bill stuck in my head, but i couldnt remember it was from kill bill, so it was just haunting me. i couldnt go to sleep because of the stupid song. id sing it for you, but i cant writing, and it has no words. but im pretty sure its from the part where shes in the coffin. anyway, i finally thought of it.
at school i got a lovely ballon from hannah with this on it:
" 'balloon?' said eeyore. 'you did say balloon? one of those big coloured things you blow up? gaiety, sond-and-dance, here we are and there we are?' " that made me happy, and that quote is so cute, especially when hannah says it in her quasi-british accent. but then after lunch, i found it popped in the mac lab. all i had was a bit of damp rag, just like eeyore.
we also watched r and g are dead in english, and even if ayesha doesnt like tim roth, i am in love with both of them. even if the play doesnt really work as a movie( which i dont think it does), its still wonderful to watch them.
i got to skip the anthro test with bro and kirill and ben sands, and i listened to them talk about movies, and i interjected every once in a while.
sometimes i feel really stupid, like i havent matured at all since middle school. bleh. i hate that feeling.
i got home to some wonderful mail, ie, both rolling sotne and EW, and alison got a jane. im so infatuated with magazines. i also got a letter from bard telling me they had my application, and a letter from the SAT telling me about my test scores, which i already know, and they are mmmm, well, not as bad as they could be. mostly just kinda weird.
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Sunday, February 13, 2005
one day we'll fly away
some things i forgot to say about slc, but want to note:
a) everyone there is really cosmopolitan. they all traveled all over the place, and lots of them were american students who had gone to school abroad, and it was very intimidating.
b) nick sansone was my tour guide. it was kinda cool. he knew my name, which i was really suprised about, but i later realize that he had probably read it on something. but he did recognize me.
c) they let you eat food in the library. its fun.
ok thats it.
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ah, a girl after my own heart
i love that phrase. someone said it to me the other day and it made me quite happy.
to get on to the wonderous news: I GOT INTO BELOIT! yes indeedy, i got into my first(hopefully not last) college. and i like beloit so it made me happy. on the plane to new york i was reading this article in the airplane magazine about how hard it was to get into college, and i was worried, but then i remembered :i got in to a college already!
so. sarah lawrence and new york:
the trip was good except that our plane from st louis to NYC got delayed because we had to take passengers from a diffrent plane. they were flying from LA to NY when they had to make an emergency landing because the pilot thought their engine was on fire(eep),which it wasnt, but we got to take on all these really ritzy LA-to-NYC types, and i sat next to this guy with and aussie accent who looked EXTREMELY rich.
maayan was sick, which was sad, but the visit was awesome. i went to her class, and two other classes, with each of her roommates. they were all cool, and small, which i liked. maayans room was tiny but cute, and her hall only had 13 girls on it, which i liked because it wasnt so intimidating as gigantic halls are. they were all very nice, and on friday was watched moulin rouge and sang really loudly with it. i also went to a mirah concert, which was cool except for the 2 hours of opening acts, all in this tiny little space that was incredibly crowded. the opening acts were all mediocre to bad, except for this guy that sang a brilliant cover of 'toxic'. by the time mirah came on, we had lost our place inside and so we watched through a window. but she was really cute and good, and i want one of her cds now.
maayan was like a little mother the whole time, and watched out for me, and tought me how to not lok like a tourist in the city (hint: dont look up when you go into grand central, even though its stunningly beautiful. only tourists do that.) we went into the city yesterday and went shopping, and i bought the most gorgeous bag that im in love with, as well as a ring and a movie staring My Favorite Chinese Actor, tony leung. it was really fun.
my resolution for when i go to college: have a wardrobe. i want want a real wardrobe by the time i go to college, as opposed to the set of running shirts i have now. because when i go shopping, i see these cloths i like, and i say 'well, i like them, but it wouldnt go with my wardrobe, aka, my tshirts'. so im ging to start buying all those clothes i like, so that ill have a wardrobe made up of cool clothing.
anyway, back to new york: i met my mom to have dinner, and maayan was going to come with us, but they wouldnt let her because the reservation was for two, and i felt really bad. but then me and mom went to see chicago, and it was AWESOME. i love broadway.( when i went to see ave. Q, i kind of teared up when it started, because i was so awed to be seeing a show on broadway. i did it again at chicago. im such a dork) anyway, the show was amazing, except that i wasnt so fond of the woman playing roxie. but velma was amazing, and billy flynn was really sleazy and good, and there were a bunch of hot dancers. it was diffrent than the moviue, which i expected. roxie was much less innocent in this version, and so was the hungarian. and mary sunshine, the reporter, is actually a man in the play, which had me and my mom confused the whole time untill the very end, when they 'revealed' him. the orchestra was on the stage, which im not sure if it was written in or not, because the actors kept on talking to the conducter, which was cool. also, the cast members sat on stage, off to the side the whole time, and reacted(or not, in the case of the 'mr cellophane' song) to whatever was going on. all in all it was quite wonderful.
anyway, then we flew back. we had zabars fro breakfast. it was yummy. i was sad to leave new york because its so much fun. but now im back.
in other news: ive got this big ugly bruise on my hip, and im not sure where it came from. i want it to go away, because its so weird looking, and the hypochondriac in me hates that.
the end.
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Tuesday, February 08, 2005
jon stewart, get better
im so sad because for the past few days weve had no daily show, i assume because jon stewart is sick.
i realized today that i cant sing. i was trying to sing with the grateful dead, with all their beautiful harmonies, and it sounded SOOO bad. then i felt silly, but i continued to sing because it was fun.
i wasnt doing anything but sitting around and then ayesha imed me and i realized that i had billions of homework to do(yes, my grammer is nicht so gut). so i had to leave quickly to read about prostitues and barabdos-ians and an anti-semetic canterbury tale.
also: sometimes i feel mean when i talk about other people and make fun of them, even though i try not to be mean to their faces, which i think is the worst thing. but i still feel bad. everyone really dislikes it when people hurt their feelings, but then they go around doing it to other people. i feel like a mean hypocrite.
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my brown eyed girl
ohmigosh you guys! apparently, the OC made a kavalier and clay refrence!!!!! i say apparently because i dont actually watch the show, but i read a quote in entertainment weekley, of summer saying to zach and seth, "what are you guys?like, kavalier and gay?" thats what i read. not only does the dude who created the OC have excellent tatse in music, he reads good books, too!
today we gave farah her birthday present, and i must say, she is simply the most adorable one year old baby ive ver seen. and i heard a baby music version of one of our orchestra songs(unfinished symphony). it was weird to hear all of my nice horn parts reduced to xylophones.
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Monday, February 07, 2005
and theres reason to belive we all will be recieved in graceland
i have "blister in the sun", or whatever that songs called, stuck in my head.
im also reveling over the brilliance of the book im reading; the doorman by reinaldo arenas. not only is it narrated by multiple omniscient narrators, but said narrators talk about reinaldo arenas( they discuss how some of them want someone else to write the book, and they say 'why not reinaldo arenas', but they dismiss him because he is 'a blatant homosexual' who wont be able to report objectively on the events because there are no sexual overtones in them) oh, its so good. i highly reccomend it.
today: i dont think i failed the math test, and i have no homework. however, i do need to get cracking on my seminar paper, because i have approximatly 6 weeks to write 30-50 pages, and i havent written anything yet and im going to be gone for the next three weekends. i did print out a loooong article on AIDS from the NYT today. to bad the SFC isnt online.
and the sad news: no stage managing for me. i talked to nick and he was like, 'im gonna do it', but then he said 'stage managing is just a name we give it. were all stage managers'. but its no consolation for me...:(
a funny story alison told me: apparently brooke was driving along and thought she saw alison in our car. it was apparently me, but she told alison that she liked our bumperstickers. that made me happy, since they are my bumpersitckers, and i like bumperstickers very much, espescially mine.
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Sunday, February 06, 2005
so i dont forget
books to read:
the lost steps
before night falls
in cold blood
guns, germs, and steel
the wind-up bird chronicles
jose lezama lima
my borthers friend cecilia is staying over for the next few days while her parents are in las vegas, and i dont think i can stand it. SHES SO ANNOYING.
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here are some amusing observations about everyday life
a quick run through of whats happened to me this weekend:
i couldnt find elizabeth(majerus)s' house because there are TWO of them, and i was late and then i inspected her bookshelf( i always look at peopls books when i go to their houses. is that weird?)
started crocheting my bag.
talked to ma'ayan about my travel plans and 'comfort level'. i wasnt very helpful.
went to shrutis party and got beautifully henna'd
saw the car that has my bob marley bumpersticker on it
almost missed my horn lesson but then played jepordy: peter and the wolf.
sat around being a slug all day long.
thats it so far.
my projection of what ill do for the rest of the day:
read (the doorman and rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead)
call my aunt to tell her how i got a letter from wesleyan saying "we are especially interested in you because of your familial connection to the university"(it made me laugh)
eat dinner
watch even more tv
have a humongous burst of creative energy and turn into a mad genius artist of some sort.
ok, that last thing maybe not. but i can always hope.
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Friday, February 04, 2005
she was a young american
i have the hicupps. again.
in orchestra today we got new music, but its not actually new because ive played them in past years. why are there only about 10 songs that we ever play? he just rotates them, i swear.
i ate lots of sugary food today and so i felt really sick. in seminar i had oreos that i brrought in, and abe and bro were talking about japanese movies, and i tried to join in but i hadnt seen enough...it made me feel very outclassed. but then mr sutton told us disgusting stories about his friends in high school.
(my alarm clock is randomly going off... its really broken)
after school i went to ayeshas house and had yummy quesadillas with peach salsa, and then i designed my dream house, which was excruciatingly hard.
i also scavanged some cool shirts from my dad. one is plaid and it makes me feel like im in "my so called life" land. especially because im wearing it over two other shirts.
sometimes i think i say mean or insensitive things without realizing it. or maybe i do realize it, because i totally noticed myself saying several mean things today without realizing it, and it made me feel bad. i hope i dont do that often. if ive hurt your feelings recently(or ever), im sorry. anyone remember in six feet under when claire talks with russell about how sometimes she stays up late eating cereal and thinking about every stupid thing shes done since 8th grade? thats so true...
anyway, enough feeling stupid for me. im feeling crafty, so i think im gonna try and sew patches on to my favorite jeans, so there arent gigantic crotch-holes anymore, and i can wear them.
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Thursday, February 03, 2005
airplane food?
i want to live on a kibbutz. i decided just now.
today i printed out all articles about AIDS from the NYT 1981-82. there are about 12. i feel very accomplished.
i also watched two really depressing movies: before night falls(about my most favorite cuban author, reinaldo arenas, which id seen before) and monster. tommorrow im bringing in movies to gender studies and showing clips, so i watched monster to find a clip. i got a good one. but ive seen the other two movies i got, so im being lazy and not picking out clips from them. i hope it goes well tommorrow.
right now im really looking forward to going to new york. a lot. BE OVER WEEK!
ive had no homweork at all this whole week, and its very strange. i want this school year to be over. im looking forward to reading rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead. and i like anthro and seminar. other than that i dont really care. we wtached the scary movie in world today, and it wasnt quite as bad as i thought it would be.
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Wednesday, February 02, 2005
a loose affiliation of millionares
strangelove was good. i cant remember what OPE stands for or which other movie refrences it. but there were a good number of people there, so that was nice.
what really annoys me is when boys talk about guns and planes and stuff like they know everything about them. i hate that. "oh, that type of gun wouldnt do that, blah blah blah" it gets on my nerves.
now im angry and bored.
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theres no fighting in here! this is the war room!
man, my plan to stage manage the musical(ok, it wasnt so much a plan as a 'hey, it would be cool to stage manage the musical') has been thwarted by nick. i really want to stage manage something before i graduate, and my only hope now is big show. does big show even have a stage manager per se?
im going to the world since 45 movie night tonight(and hopefully everyone else is too) because only tomek went to the last one and we feel really bad. plus hes showing dr strangelove this time, instead of a scary nuclear war movie. but were watching a scary movie tommorrow in calss and im really worried about it. i hate scary nuclear war movies.
things i have discovered recently:
i am a HUGE dork(even bigger than i thought)
meredith has synesthesia
im looking forward to college a lot, for some reasons that i didnt think i would be
semen has calories. for some reason that never occured to me before.
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Tuesday, February 01, 2005
id like to teach the world to sing
oh, i love the daily show. they talked about 'cinnabon max goldberg' and interviewed they head of the usa communist party about social security, and he said 'we should be giving people more benifits', and she said 'what ar eyou, some kinda commie?' and he was like 'um, actually, yes'. and then he said 'we should end poverty, and racism, and discrimination against women...' and she was like 'do you want to give the world a coke', but he said no because of what they were doing in colombia(good for him).
ok, so this probably isnt funny when i repeat it too you. suffice to say that i dont know what i would do without jon stewart anymore.
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benito benito benito mussolini
today i researched at the library for an hour and a half, and it was mindnumbingly boring. but it will be fun once i get past the preliminary stuff. then when i got home, i was telling mom about something weird i discovered, and she was like "well, blah blah blah about AIDS is true, blah blah blah" and i wanted to say "mom, its a research paper. im researching to find out whats true. you have done no research and therefore cannot tell me what is true about AIDS in the media" she also told me "reading secondary sources can really be helpful" grrr.
anyway, after the library i went to esspresso because i had over an hour to kill till the game, and i had a raspberry scone and a mucha and read the shipmans tale.
then, onto the game, which was AWESOME. i love my class. it was senior night for the girls, and i cheered really loudly and we won 70 to 34, or something like that. it was nice, because the other game of theirs i went to, they got creamed. and it was werid, because i huge portion of the class of 04 showed up, most of them the dC, and it was strange. i realized that id gotten used to them not being there... but it was nice to see some of them. and ms linder came with illina and calvin, who are adorable. i love them. today i heard a "suzanne" song by weezer on the radio, and i wondered if ms linder knew about it. i bet htere arent too many suzanne songs.
in math calss today suzuki gave us these in class problems, and after a while she put some answers up on the board, and some of them were wrong. so me and hannah raised our hands and said "umm, i dont think thats right..." and she got really pissed because she had done them wrong. she hates us now. and she also thinks we slack off, but we totally do the work.
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