earnest earnest earnest
the internet wasnt working so went went down to reset the airport and i got electrocuted! thats never happened to me before! it was sort of exciting.
ive done almost all of my homework, and im feeling very accomplished, but i still have to write my habitat application and im really nervous about it. becaus i really want to go. and last year i said to myself "well, i probably wont get to go anyway, and then i can go next year, so it doesnt matter" so i wasnt as worried about it. but this year there is no next year so im very scared.
aslo: as much as studprod is bad, im really enjoying the armory theater. because it has a REAL dressing room(which i wish i had found in time to do my senior picture) and all these passages i can hide in to do my homework. iread the millers tale during rehersal and wasnt interrupted at all, plus it was really good. it was really dirty, and i was amused by how dirty it was even though it was from the 1200s or something like that.
- posted by Caitlin @ 11:33 PM |

 
screw maxamillion
thanksgiving was nice, the kitties were cute. one of my aunts collegues who had thanksgiving with us teaches an AIDS history class, so i plan to mine him for all his resources.
right now, instead of doing my homework im reading a bunch of sad stuff about reinaldo arenas, my new favorite author. there are probably more productive things i could be doing.
i showed henrys mom the stich'n'bitch book, and she was like "oh, ill teach you how to knit! when can we get together so i can show you?" which i didnt especially want to do because i dont actually know her, but she is really nice, and i told her id ask her for help if i couldnt figure out how to do it.
also, i got my math group today, and to put it mildly, it really sucks. yes, lauren is nice but other than that. and suzuki says we will have to spend time outside of class working on it. please please let us be really efficient so we dont have to do that.
- posted by Caitlin @ 11:55 PM |

 
your tired of traveling and wanting to settle down
today was 'clean-out-the-lost-and-found' day, and i got a really comfy shirt that im quite fond of. i also found my math folder, so good for me.
tommorrow im flying to CA, but instead of going straight there, we're flying from here to cinncinati to salt lake city and then to CA. grr. wish me luck on the plane. i also had to back my bag tonight since im leaving from school, and its really full so im gonna be carrying around this huge bag all day. well, untill i leave at 10:30. im missing fiesta wednsday to fly to cinncinati, which is not even in the right direction. other things im mad about: a stupid conservative MPAA and the fact that im not yet 17.
but im trying to be happy so ill be in a good mood for traveling tommorrow, so i listened to the grateful dead and bob marley, and i watched the premire of judging amy, which is very comforting. all i need now is a trashy magazine and im set for the plane ride. and im gonna be thinking of kittens: my aunt has two very little kittens that i am going to hold for all of thanksgiving.
- posted by Caitlin @ 11:08 PM |

 
california dreamin
while i was in the middle of typing this, my mom accidentally turned of the power in our house, which i didnt know was possible, so the internet turned off and i had to start all over. boo hoo.
so i finished my capelet, except mom says its not long enough, so i may not actually be done. but it does have an extremely cool button-clasp thing.
all i really have to do tonight is my gender analysis, and im sad because i saw the best commercial to gender-analyze on tv, but it wasn taped so i couldnt do it. but it went like this: an extended family is sitting around a table on christmas eve, talking about their family christmas traditions. one of the women is looking really sad, and apparently she married into the family recently because they ask her about what her family does. and shes like "well, right now we'll- im mean they'll- go out and such and such blah blah blah" and shes loooking all wistful and sad. and then one of the older women of the the family pulls her aside and gives her a halmark card and says " when i first married so and so, i had a hard time, too" and the card is welcomign her to the family or something.but i thought it was amazing that this commercial assumes that once a woman gets married, it's like she's completely abandoning her family. but anyway, i cant do it, but im doing a book called "my soccer mom from mars", and it will be interesting.
also: i need to do quotes and wills.
- posted by Caitlin @ 8:34 PM |

 
what we have here is a dead shark
i took the emotional iq test and got an 88, and then i felt bad because it told me i was emotionally stupid. but i ate cookies and then i went home and watched the daily show and ellen w/ my parents and read, and the next day i slept in and made cookies and read and missed my horn lesson and felt really bad about it. and today i had to make up my horn lesson and now im stuck doing my homework and trying to write my college essays.also, ive decided that crocheting a muff is stupid because its basically a bibg tube, and thats weird because i cant even say they're leg warmer, so i decided to make a capelet, which it turn out is pronounced "cape-let", not "cap-let", and which is basically the same shape but not folded up as a muff. then i also got some really cozy yarn to make another scarf out of, and im really excited.
plus, we finally started playing something good in orchestra, "rhaposdy in blue" by gershwin. if you dont know what that is, watch "manhattan" and its the music playing over all the beautiful shots of manhattan in the begining. anyway, its wonderful, but unfourtunatly its a "band" peice, which means we basically never get to play it. damn you mr murphy.
- posted by Caitlin @ 1:39 PM |

 
man, i feel like a woman
i cant believe its only thursday. ive been a day ahead all week. this is so dissapointing.
anyway, i had almost no homework again, which was nice, and ayesha gave me her wonderful pants on "long term loan", so im wearing them right now and being very happy about it (thanks ayesha). i did go to the macalester thing, though, and it was nice. it made me really want to go there.like i didnt already.
i also talked to mr sutton about woodstock and he told me this really good sotyr about how he almost got to go because he was gonna go hitchhiking with this friend of his but then he didnt get to go, but then his friend ended up at woodstock. i bet he still feels bad about that. but he, too, has seen the movie.speaking of mr sutton: seminar is the COOLEST class ever. i know im a big dork, but reaserching for this paper thing is cool because my books refer to eachother, and argue, and i feel so intelligent reading them.
- posted by Caitlin @ 11:26 PM |

 
wouldn't it be nice if we were older
today was so much fun because i had no homework by the time i got home. that hasn't happened in ages. so i read my book for a long time, and rediscovered my crocheting(im making a muff) and watched the daily show and it was nice. i feel so relaxed, and i think im going to go to sleep early. yay.
- posted by Caitlin @ 11:13 PM |

 
scuze me while i kiss the sky
my dad and i just watched woodstock, and we both really wished we had been there. it was basically a documentary of the concert, and it was great. they made you watch the entire 4 hour movie to get to janis and jimi, the best, but the whole thing was good. man, do i wish i had been there. the anouncer guy was like " i hear theres some brown acid going around thats not all that good, so try and avoid it" and then later he said "some people think that some of the acid is poison. its not poisonous, its just bad acid. badly manufactured" and then later he said "linda, gerry is waiting for you by the information booth, he wants to marry you". and also some people gave birth to babies. dont you wish you had been born at woodstock? i do.they also interviewd all the residents of the area, and one of them said "all these kids are too happy. theyre all having pot" but it was funny becasue he said they were happy like it was a bad thing. and this one band, i forget what they were called, had this REALLY long, amazing song that i am downloading tommorrow. it was like 15 min long, and the guitar player was amazing. also, the movie came on 2 tapes, and when it was time to change tapes, the little woodstock logo came up and under it it said "interfuckingmission". anyway, it was good, but now im really tired. i didnt realize it was this late untill the movie finished. oops, i had stuff i wanted to do tonight. oh well.
- posted by Caitlin @ 1:33 AM |

 
i love tennessee williams
Life Story

After you've been to bed together for the first time,
without the advantage or disadvantage of any prior acquaintance,
the other party very often says to you,
Tell me about yourself, I want to know all about you,
what's your story? And you think maybe they really and
truly do

sincerely want to know your life story, and so you light up
a cigarette and begin to tell it to them, the two of you
lying together in completely relaxed positions
like a pair of rag dolls a bored child dropped on a bed.

You tell then your story, or as much of your story
as time or a fair degree of prudence allows, and they say,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
each time a little more faintly, until the oh
is just an audible breath, and then of course

there's some interruption. Slow room service comes up
with a bowl of melting ice cubes, or one of you rises to pee
and gaze and himself with mild astonishment in the bathroom mirror.
And then, the first thing you know, before you've had time
to pick up where you left off with your enthralling life story,
they're telling you their life story, exactly as they'd intended to all along,

and you're saying Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
each time a little more faintly, the vowel at last becoming
no more than an audible sigh,
as the elevator, halfway down the corridor and a turn to the left,
draws one last, long, deep breatj of exhaustion
and stops breathing forever. Then?

Well, one of you falls asleep
and the other one does likewise with a lighted cigarette in his mouth,
and that's how people burn to death in hotel rooms.


in case you didnt get it from my title, i didnt write that, tennessee williams did.


- posted by Caitlin @ 11:14 PM |

 
look out of any window, any evening, any morning, any day
stud prod autditions, ehh, im nervous. a whole lot more people tried out this year than last year, and some of them were really good. tommorrow morning, eek. also, i need to find some way to get to the habitat meeting.
speaking if mr sutton(sort of), i ordered all these cool books about AIDS from the library for my paper, and im really excited about them.
also: im thinking i need to expand my college list, because i dont really have that many options near home, and i want more. so im thinking: oberlin or beloit. but i feel bad because im already applying to 7 schools, and its starting to get a little excessive.
anyway, i need to sleep, wish me luck with the auditions(and yay for my freinds who also tried out)
- posted by Caitlin @ 11:24 PM |

 
the song im about to do is of great social and political import
reason number 5 billion to hate the bush administration: i really want to go to cuba. really really really.when i was at knox i saw this thing on the wall about studying abroad in havana, so i took a flyer and went to their web site. turns out, the bush administration tightened the restrictions for traveling to cuba, effectively shutting down all college programs there.
knox was fun though. my host told me about a band on campus called oedipus and the motherfuckers, which i think is the best thing ever. i also met a theater girl(techie) and she told me and alyssa all about theater, and it sounded really fun, though i was intimidated becuase she new so much. but she asked me my name, and then she was like "ill remember you when you come here next year!" so if i go to knox ill have a theater buddy.
also, in the book im reading(yay for cuba) the main character just had the most freudian dream that involved all these ancient greek mythological men fighting over this one woman, and eventually getting naked and using their penises as swords to have a battle. it was QUITE interesting, and it used words like "phallus" and "rod" and "member" a lot. i was amused. but its a good book, even though i know you all think its porn now.
- posted by Caitlin @ 10:47 PM |

 
are you stone?
im doing the whole mood-swing thing right now. alternating between really happy and "my life sucks". its weird.
the show is great, and drew and anita and rivkah came today, which made me happy. and my family. unfourtunatly, i have yet to see the kiss. but i hear its VERY good. the crucibles just such a good show, man, and it makes me feel really intelligent.
anyway, this weekend im going to visit knox, and i really hope its just the best place ever. also: i need to burn all of the grateful dead cds ever, because they are my new favorite band and they make me feel so happy, which is just what i want right now.im going through a music thing where all i want to listen to is music that will calm me down and make me happy, so ive been listening to a lot of janis joplin and the grateful dead. i really like folky-hippie music, turns out. and bob marley, of course.

- posted by Caitlin @ 11:23 PM |

 
im moving to the netherlands
im so fucking pissed off about this. ive waited four years, and i cant believe that 51% of this country is SO STUPID. last night was worse, i was crying and i felt sick i was so nervous, but now i just feel angry. i watched the concession speech with brad and that librarian whos name i dont know in the library, and it just made me mad that kerry didnt say anything real. why didnt he attack bush? say something about what terrible things he was doing? its not like he has anythign to loose- hes not campaigning anymore. people need to stop being so polite and just say what needs to be said.
and max goldbergs section of that article? the media is portraying this war like its vietnam? WHAT? do you pay any attention at ALL to the media?? yes, many uni students compare it to vietnam, but we are in general better informed. the media hardley ever mentions the war, it never talks about whats wrong, it just gives a fucking soundbite from bush and claims that its being 'objective'. WHERES OUR INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM?
all this is being fueled by a huge lack of sleep. my only bright spots are obama, bob marley, and the greatful dead.
- posted by Caitlin @ 11:01 PM |